For a champion of EV's in general auto, I'm surprised that you seem not to understand how electric motors work. Electric motor/generators have something better than a built in pump brake - the generator part.
If you want to "brake" the motor you need only to put it in generator mode. Get it to dump its current to an energy store or ballast resistor and it will load the motor with a retarding torque.
It will slow the motor to match the rotational speed of the gearbox AND you recover energy.
Like I said, if there is a problem here its with the management of the motor torque, not the gearbox.
To harvest energy effectively you have to place the motor/generator up against a mechanical load.
You cannot do this during the shift overlap of the gear change which is exactly where you need to decelerate the motor/generator to match the input rpm to the output rpm
Applying electrical resistance will slow the armature far to rapidly, usually to stationary.
So I agree with you partly, it is also a control problem.
The end result is still 'BANG'.
It is the gearbox that is unsuitable for the job.