Red Bullseye - Paddock gossip

Well done to reigning champions Renault who scored a one-two finish in Sunday's Malaysian Grand Prix. Amazingly, it was only the second time in the French firm's history that it had taken the top two spots in a grand prix.

The last time dated back to 1982 when Rene Arnoux beat team-mate Alain Prost. Arnoux had defied team orders to take the win and Prost was furious. On his way home, he stopped to refuel his road car and the pump attendant mistook him for Arnoux and said how delighted he was that Arnoux had won as he hated Prost. Alain was so embarrassed that he paid cash rather than let the fuel man see his name on the credit card!

With so many engines going pop over the weekend, finding out who was where on the grid took an eternity. Some of the teams themselves were not too sure and had to keep issuing amendments. What kind of sport cannot even work out who starts where? The engine change penalty rules are behind this confusion and they are harder to understand because a driver who retires from the previous race with a broken engine can change it without suffering a penalty, while those who finish a race and then discover that their engines need changing have to drop ten places on the grid.

Bahrain first and now Malaysia can hardly boast much interest in Formula 1, which seems such a shame given the outstanding facilities at both tracks. And it seems that fudging spectator figures is almost as popular a sport as the race itself. Sepang circuit chairman Datuk Mokhzani Tun Mahathir was quoted as saying he did not have official figures for the number of spectators but he reckoned the grandstands "looked full!" McLaren third driver, Pedro de la Rosa had a strange introduction to the team's new doctor, who decided a game of Squash was just the thing for the Spaniard. The only problem was that the doctor hit the ball straight into Pedro's groin, leaving him groaning for several days. We leave you to make up your own jokes about new Squash balls.

Remember Horner's Angels? Last year, our three blonde (very blonde) Press girls were always providing us with the odd laugh at their expense and this year, the trend looks set to continue. Just one problem - one of the Angels is now a man. Anyway, in Malaysia, one of them went running one evening and returned covered in scrapes, scratches and bruises having fallen over not once, but twice. There must be better ways to keep fit. Another one confessed that she found herself working in Formula 1 completely by chance. "Actually, I want to work for L'Oreal, because I like shampoo and French people," she declared. Is she worth it, we ask ourselves?

Our team bosses have headed back to base now, as there's actually a whole weekend in prospect without a grand prix. But the bulk of the team has stayed out in the Far East to avoid the perils of jet lag before the Australian Grand Prix on 2 April.